Articles & Links » Humorous Articles »

Demystifying the Business Mixer

by Audrey Pihulyk

The anticipation of attending a business mixer can be both exhilarating and frightening. Recently, I attended a mixer which was held in a building with a large foyer containing a number of trees scattered throughout the venue. As I perused the place, I spied a gentleman standing under one of the trees, almost hugging it. It looked as though he was hanging on for dear life as he peered through the leaves. His thought might have been that if he blended in with the leaves, others would think he was part of the tree and no one would engage him in conversation.

Upon viewing this scene, my compassionate nature surfaced and I walked over to converse with him. After a few minutes of trying to pull conversation from him, I discovered that he had, until recently, been employed by the government and now wanted to become an independent business consultant. I felt as though I was priming a pump, helping him feel more at ease in the unfamiliar business mixer. Much to my satisfaction, shortly after I left him, he ventured out from his comfortable hiding place to mingle with the group.

Yes, networking mixers can strike fear in many of us, and yet they play an important part in the success of our businesses. However, these mixers need not be fraught with fear if we prepare and position ourselves properly. Mental preparation is the first step. To do this effectively you need to be able to see yourself being successful at the upcoming mixer. I have found that one of the most successful ways to do this is to rehearse various communication scenarios and repeat positive affirmations to myself.

To boost your self-confidence, every morning upon arising, and every evening upon retiring, position yourself in front of a mirror while dressed only in your underwear. I believe this attire is essential because if you can sell yourself to yourself dressed like this, you can sell yourself to anyone while dressed in business attire. The affirmations can be as follows, "I have a valuable service to sell; I present myself as positive, self-assured, and likeable". Note though, these affirmations need to be personal, positive, and present.

After all the preparation, the day of the mixer finally arrives. Your name tag is securely attached to your right lapel; you have a handful of business cards in one pocket, with the other pocket empty to receive cards from those you meet. Now you stride confidently into the sea of people.

The room is buzzing with excitement as everyone is chatting it up. Upon observing this, your confidence may wane. Don’t let this happen! You need to mingle. But where should you start? The buffet table may be a good choice, for this is where the shy and apprehensive people meet, trying to be invisible. You will feel right at home with them. Another benefit of meeting at the buffet table is that with plate and napkin in hand you have time to collect your thoughts and plan your next move.

Every good mixer has great food, with tasty barbecued chicken wings, cocktail sausages, tiny quiches, and minute rolls on the menu. However, there is one problem. How can you eat barbecued chicken wings in a delicate manner? I have yet to discover a way to do this. From my many attempts, I have found that there is always a bone covered with sauce sticking out of my mouth; and upon trying to wipe it, the darned napkin sticks to my fingers. And just about this time some dear soul approaches and engages me in conversation. My napkin is sticky; I don’t want to hand them a card stained with sauce, so I look for a clean corner of the white, starched tablecloth on which to wipe my fingers. Oh well, anyone could have made that smear!

Communication is what business mixers are all about. If you do not communicate the right message, others will not be drawn to your business. We all know that there are Introverts and Extroverts in society and that they view life differently. Introverts prefer a large personal space, while extroverts can usually handle you up close and more in their face.

I will now give you a valuable tip on how to converse with these two very different types. When you are conversing with someone and they are backing away, it is not wise to keep leaning forward on your toes to make sure that they understand you. In this situation, you are probably dealing with an Introvert who is trying in a subtle way to inform you that their personal space is being violated. Conversely, there are those who have a need to touch, to clean the fuzz off your suit, and even, heaven forbid, hug you. So be prepared for this as well. To sum up, be respectful of others’ personal space, and remember you don’t have to talk all the time; show interest in the other person and they will show interest in you.

For centuries, the handshake has been used as a friendly greeting as well as a seal to complete business deals. However, be sure that your handshake is firm and sincere, not of the limp or bone-crushing variety. The firm handshake with eye contact is important because it denotes directness and sincerity.

No, the business mixer need not be a fearful function, but can instead be a valuable way in which to sell your services while building positive business relationships. Do your homework, pack up your business cards and go for it!

Nurse Audrey is the “Stress Strategist,” who brings to your audience cutting-edge strategies and thought-provoking ideas, always with a touch of humour. Her motivating keynote and interactive breakouts are described as inspiring and energizing.

Her book: I Really Gotta Quit! Break Free from Eating Disorders & Other Addictions, together with her audio programs are available through her website. To order product, or to book Audrey to speak at your next meeting, email her at: audrey@possibilitiesnetwork.com, or contact her through her web site: www.possibilitiesnetwork.com , or call 1-866-484-2197

Yes! You are welcome to reprint this article with the understanding that 1) Possibilities Network Inc. retains full copyrights, 2) The byline and contact information is included as written here and, 3) Possibilities Network Inc. is contacted and sent a copy of the publication in which the article appears.