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Understanding the Personality Mix

by Audrey Pihulyk

Bringing Out the Best in Yourself and Others

Whether at the office, in the home, or among friends, personality differences can lead to conflicts. We have all experienced relationships with those who can easily irritate and challenge us. At times these challenges can leave us asking the question, "Why do people act the way they do?” or even, "Why do I act the way I do?”

The personality differences we see in each other are inborn traits, not flaws or afflictions. However, if we cannot see past the weaknesses of others, there will be the temptation to try and sculpt them into an image more acceptable to us. A person’s form is inherent and ingrained. To insist that others conform to our expectations may bring about change, but not necessarily a transformation. The change that may occur, however, could cause some lasting personality scars, not exactly the effect we would wish upon anyone.

Almost four hundred years ago, Hippocrates, the Greek philosopher and father of modern medicine, made some interesting observations about the behavior patterns of his patients. He conducted a research in which he categorized their behavior patterns into four groups. They were: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy and Phlegmatic.

Briefly, the strengths and weaknesses of each group could best be explained as follows: The Sanguines are those talkative, bubbly individuals who often take on new projects, but may have difficulty completing them; the Cholerics are the born leaders who have vision, are powerful and confident, but tend to be rather controlling and overbearing; the Melancholics are the complex, deep-thinking, artistic people, who are often given to dark moods; and the Phlegmatics are the negotiators – tranquil, good listeners, albeit somewhat unmotivated and stubborn.

It is interesting to note that the weaknesses of each are actually strengths taken to an extreme. While there are four basic personality types, the make-up of any particular type is a blend of two or more types thus adding balance and uniqueness to everyone’s personality. Furthermore, these four personality types can also be placed into the two broad categories of either Introversion or Extraversion. These have opposite views, with the Sanguines and Cholerics being the Extraverts, and the Melancholics and Phlegmatics being the Introverts. The types belonging to Introversion get their energy from being by themselves and can be broadly described as the "strong, silent types." Those in the Extraversion category, however, get their energy from being with people, and can be described as the "movers and shakers."

Because Introverts and Extraverts hold many opposite views, they need to develop tolerance and understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The Extraverts are people of action who are sociable and make friends easily. However, they have to realize that the Introverts often prefer to be alone and need personal and mental space. They need time to process information, and to be given opportunities to speak without being interrupted. Introverts are people of focus, depth and independence who get their energy from being alone so that they can "recharge their batteries."

However, the Introverts in turn need to appreciate the Extraverts for their gift of leadership and try to work in harmony with them. In her enlightening book, Discover the Power of Introversion, author Cheryl Card sheds some light on the gifts of the Introvert that many of us, even the Introverts themselves, may overlook. She writes that these quiet, reticent and gifted people may at times be overpowered by the more outspoken Extraverts.

As these personality traits are inborn, the distinctiveness between siblings can be observed as they interact in the home. The Extraverted child is outgoing, often being seen and heard everywhere; while the quiet, Introverted child is many times left feeling somewhat inadequate and may even become withdrawn. The understanding of the distinctive personality differences which each child possesses will help parents guide their children in their growth and future contribution to society. I have found the book Discover Your Children’s Gifts, authored by Don Fortune, to be both insightful and helpful in understanding the differences in children’s behavior.

Having insights into the negative and positive aspects of the various personality types and understanding how they affect the behaviour of individuals can help improve harmony and reduce conflict in the workplace. For an example, the personable Extraverted Sanguines who are energetic and outgoing individuals are generally adverse to working in solitude and doing mundane tasks. They love to interact with people and, therefore, would be better suited as workers in the front office. They need to have their emotional needs met by interacting with people who recognize and appreciate their creativeness and hard work. Sanguines value people who, like themselves, enjoy having fun and therefore may become impatient with the laid back and quiet Introverts.

Extraverted Cholerics are visionaries and goal-orientated people. Time is of the essence to these "workaholics." They demand action and tend to be impatient with those who are laid back and less efficient. The Cholerics are the driving force behind projects. They have the ability to mobilize workers and equipment quickly and efficiently to get the job done and are suited for leadership positions because they are decisive and efficient. Therefore they must be kept informed of decisions affecting their ability to direct the ship.

The Introverted Melancholics are the sensitive, quiet people who enjoy working alone. They are the perfectionists who major in detailed work involving things like graphs, charts and the balancing of books. They find loud and talkative people annoying. When presented with a problem, Melancholics will take time to analyze it carefully, and in the end, usually do it right. So in the office, be sensitive to their needs, respect their privacy, and give them realistic deadlines to meet.

The Introverted Phlegmatics are those peaceful, unhurried people, who do not create fun or excitement in the workplace, but are dependable and consistent in doing and completing assignments. However, they will feel undervalued and overlooked when pushed to finish a project. They are Introverts who, like the Melancholics, prefer to work in quiet, orderly surroundings with few interruptions. In the office, value the Phlegmatics for their consistent work, negotiating skills, and exercise patience when they are processing time-limited tasks.

Good interpersonal relationships are important, whether at work, at home, or in a gathering. Understanding the strengths and weaknesses of a person’s personality and why they behave the way they do can go a long way in bringing harmony and success to our personal and corporate lives.

Nurse Audrey is the “Stress Strategist,” who brings to your audience cutting-edge strategies and thought-provoking ideas, always with a touch of humour. Her motivating keynote and interactive breakouts are described as inspiring and energizing.

Her book: I Really Gotta Quit! Break Free from Eating Disorders & Other Addictions, together with her audio programs are available through her website. To order product, or to book Audrey to speak at your next meeting, email her at: audrey@possibilitiesnetwork.com, or contact her through her web site: www.possibilitiesnetwork.com , or call 1-866-484-2197

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